Can you say Oscar favorite?

This is a web video of an old friend of mine reviewing Max Payne. He (known in this video as “Lawrence Saltzman”) and his “brother” have a couple more of these web videos available for your enjoyment at funnyordie.com. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is out on DVD and so is Jason Segel’s member. As I noted in my review of the movie months ago on Nerd Lives, How I Met Your Mother’s Marshall Erickson is a well endowed fellow, although his endowment is not nearly as impressive on the small screen as it was in theaters.

It can be noted that the gorgeous co-star, and voice of Meg Griffin, Mila Kunis is shown topless in the movie, as well. …more… »

For fans of: Superbad, Dumb and Dumber, and 48 Hours.
Pineapple Express on Wikipedia | IMDB site for PE

Please be not offended by the title. Blasphemy be damned… the title comes from a line in this year’s funniest, raunchiest, most action packed film. In fact, Pineapple Express is the best buddy comedy of all time as far as I’m concerned. A man, his drug dealer, a friend that just won’t die, and a cast of other oddball characters create laughter, action, and lots of foul language.

When Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) sees the man that he is supposed to serve a subpoena to (Gary Cole partner up with a female police officer (Rosie Perez) to kill a man at his home, he throws his Pineapple Express filled joint out his car window and speeds over to his drug dealer’s home. In the midst of being high and freaking out uncontrollably, he fails to realize that the weed he is smoking is extremely rare and is only available in town through one dealer. When he arrives at the home of his dealer, Saul (James Franco), they realize after some more smoking and attempts at relaxing that the rarity of the weed gives up his identity as the man who witnessed the murder. This is primarily due to the fact that the man who committed the murder is Saul’s supplier’s supplier. The evil head drug dealer guy sends goons to find Dale and Saul.

Confused? Don’t be. It’s easy enough to follow… man witnesses murder then gets chased by goons after being identified due to smoking really rare marijuana. Turns out the evil dealer guy sends the goons because he believes that Dale and Saul are working with the Asian drug cartel that he is in a harsh rivalry with. …more… »

For fans of: Batman Begins, Batman, and Batman Returns.
The Dark Knight on Wikipedia | IMDB site for TDK

The Dark Knight is breaking records, kicking ass, and taking names. It is just about everything you can expect for a sequel to an incredible superhero movie… new and interesting villains, plot twists, character development, and action that tops the original. TDK is a superb piece of cinema and one of the best movies made during the current comic book movie era, but the unfortunate truth is that, despite many claims that this is the best superhero movie of all-time, it is simply not that cut and dry.

The movie does boast the best performance of an insane villain since Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. Ledger’s depiction of the Joker, owed in part to books like The Killing Joke and even moreso to Ledger’s commitment to the psychopathic Joker role, is as good as the critics have been saying. Calling Ledger’s performance Oscar worthy is completely legitimate. His mysterious death intensifies the creepiness of the performance, but the sheer ability to transform himself into the most menacing supervillain ever portrayed on the big screen demonstrates how much of a loss to Hollywood Ledger’s death truly was.

The action is superb, the cinematography is bar none, and the plot is one of the best superhero stories ever put to film… but there are some critiques. No one wants to be the buzzkill and so far as the early reviews go, no one has been. Despite the overall feeling of critics that TDK is just about perfect, there are some legitimate critiques of the second installment of Nolan’s take on The Caped Crusader. …more… »

This review was originally posted on Crap Filter on January 10, 2006.

For fans of: Cheesy B Movies, Rock Operas, and Canadians.
JCVH on Wikipedia | IMDB site for JCVH

The lesbians are dying off and vampires are to blame. The vampires are harvesting skin for some wacked out scientist and they are choosing lesbians because no one will miss them. The local priests know they need to stop the vampires and in order to do so they need to enlist vampire enemy #1, JC himself. Two priests go to the lake (where Jesus is baptizing believers) in order to go recruit Christ’s help and when explaining the situation, vampires attack. Jesus turns it on and kicks ass, but the two priests die in the process. Jesus goes back to the city, meets Mary Magnum and she helps him gets a modern makeover so that he looks more like he fits in. Jesus proceeds to then kick vampire ass for another hour or so and in the end he brings some folks back to life, turns vamps back into humans, and facilitates lesbian love.

A truly touching story…

After much anticipation and a broken disc fiasco, Netflix finally sent me Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Though admittedly my expectations were low, it did meet (and possibly even slightly exceed) my expectations. …more… »

For fans of: Land of the Dead and 28 Days Later.
Diary of the Dead on Wikipedia | IMDB site for DOTD

Romero’s newest zombie flick follows suit in begging the viewer to contemplate some serious social questions while watching the type of decapitated zombie gore that only he can deliver.

I could review the plot, the effects, and/or any typical aspect a reviewer usually reviews… but why? You already know that Diary of the Dead was filmed in the same vein as Blair Witch and Cloverfield. You already know that Romero’s zombies are relatively slow moving and the effects in the past few years have been great in this genre. You already know Romero’s plots are mostly action driven, but woven with Dickens-eque exploration of social ills. So, I decided to talk more about what you don’t know about this film and what I, personally, took from it. …more… »

For fans of: Attack of the Killer Condom and Jess Weixler’s Toothy Vagina.
More on Vagina Dentata | IMDB site for Teeth

Vagina Dentata is a classic folktale of a toothed vagina capable to chomping an unwelcome penis off of a man during intercourse. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Well, maybe not, but it does sound like a great idea for a horror comedy. Myths regarding killer anatomy definitely fall into the category of “things that should be made into a movie” in my book, thus when I heard of a film with a plot surrounding Vagina Dentata, it shot directly to the top of my Netflix list. However, after watching this film (yet before writing this review) I decided to look the myth of the killer cooch up in Google. One would assume that this type of thing could never truly happen, but upon this further study it seems to be a possibility according to at least one medical website:

Dermoid cysts are derived from the outer layers of embryonic skin, and they are capable of growing hair and teeth and bones, anything that comes from the outer layers of the embryo. They can occur anywhere.

…more… »